As I reflected on Mark 2:17 (Jesus heard this and said to them that, "Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do. I did not come to call the righteous but sinners.") I had the thought that I should thank God for my brokenness...for my sinfulness. Wait...what??? Thank Him for my imperfections? I'm striving to be the person He wants/expects me to be...why would I thank Him for my failures?
Here are my thoughts: Yes, God wants us to strive to be who He made us to be. He also knows our weaknesses and He challenges us to grow closer to Him through exposing them. If we achieve perfection, would we need Him? We might need Him to maintain the perfectness, but if we are truly perfect there would be no need for Reconciliation.
Only 2 people on this earth were perfect: Jesus & Mary. Even though Jesus is God, He still prayed to God. And you know Mary kept in close contact with Him. God made us with our weaknesses...with our brokenness. He gives us free will to come to Him or not.
I find such humility in my weakness. When I feel like I'm doing well with living as He wants me to, something happens. It may be a word from my husband or one of my children that reels back into reality. It might be that I let my guard down and say or do something incredibly stupid. I'm reminded that I have such a long way to go, but I'm also reminded how much He loves me. How He allows me to be a sinner and to be broken so I will continue to search for Him. How He teaches me that in my sinfulness He blesses me with His Grace.
In his book Broken + Blessed, Fr. Josh Johnson relays a vision (if you will) about Jesus coming to his house. When Jesus first knocks on the door, Fr. Josh is reluctant to let Him in. Then, when he allows Him in, he only shows Jesus the "good" rooms; the places in his life where he fed the hungry, clothed the naked and welcomed strangers. When Jesus asked to go into the other rooms, He was told that they were messy, filled with all of the sins of his life. Jesus wants to be invited to those rooms, too. He wants to have a chance to tell us that no matter what we've done and no matter how we'll sin in the future, He still loves us.
We all need to be reminded that we are loved...by our spouse, children, friends. In revealing our brokenness, we are reminded that Jesus loves us and will always love us...especially in our sinfulness. What mercy and compassion He shows us!
The next time you are humbled by your brokenness/sinfulness, thank God. Yes, thank Him. Thank Him for those messy rooms in your life that allow you to crawl back to Him in shame and humility. Thank Him for not being perfect, for it is in those times you seek Him. Thank Him for your brokenness.
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